Celebrity BS

Oscar Night - Ho Hum

So glad I didn't plan on my elaborate "LIVE BLOG" expedition that I normally insist upon for Oscar night. First, we will not mention my hang-over and boob brain getting things messed up in my head and totally MISSING ALL THE RED CARPET ACTION short of the 30 minute crap Regis segment. But pretty much here is the fashionsmashion update:

Strapless. One Shoulder. Black. Red. A few feathers. Mermaid cut. Messy Hair.

And there you have it.

QUEL FLIPPING BORE.

Did all the actresses really think that the party wasn't going to go on and so they rushed out and just grabbed any old thing to wear last minute? The most original thing tonight was Katherine Heigl's cut out on her shoulder and Cameron Diaz and the french chick (who, BTW, is stunning) not wearing black or red.

Blah, blah, blah. We at least had our annual "pizza and champagne" party with the same group of friends who we have had the pleasure of watching 5 out of the last 6 Academy Awards with, and who I once again had the pleasure of taking their money in the Oscar pool.

Even though this year it was by pure luck. I guessed best song correctly to clinch the win. Oh, and in case you were wondering, Princess Z was the finest dressed in her Ralph Lauren original PJ's.

Mommy lookin good from her head to her feet

A few nights ago I was wide awake at 1:30 AM. Since this whole procreation thing is supposed to knock you out, and since I can't take my beloved Ambien at the moment, I was stuck.. laying there worrying about random things like preschool paperwork and the constant VBAC vs. C-Section debate that has been plaguing me in the recent months, all while the theme song for Handy Manny hummed nicely in the background of my mind. Yes, enough to make one want to  jump off a freaking 5th floor ledge.

That eff-ing Handy Mandy song...I had no clue how I was going get that one out of my head. I swore at one point that I was doomed to roam the earth forever humming "do do do do do, Hand-y Mann-yyy.. "

That was, until I heard the new song from Will.I.AM. No longer will the Disneyfied Los Lobos run through my head at all hours of the day! It's been replaced with the ingenious lyrics such as:

Mommy lookin good from her head to her feet.
She forty-four, but she still lookin sweet.
And you can tell her daughter aint even at her peak.
Cause her mama lookin so hot, packin that heat.

and:

If the girl real fine,
Nine times out of ten,
She fine just like her mama.

If the girl real pretty,
Nine times out of ten,
She pretty like her mama.

And if her mama real ugly,
I guarantee ya she gon’ be ugly like her mama.

And if her mama real ugly,
I guarantee ya she gon’ be ugly like her mama.

If the girl real sexy,
Nine times out of ten,
She sexy like her mama.

While Jason normally makes me turn down songs such as this within the first 30 seconds, I will tell you that by the end, while shaking his booty with his hands in the air, even he admitted its a catchy tune.

Oh, and its always a good laugh to think of all the lame-ass club girls in their micro-mini skirts going crazy and singing along when he says "If you're pretty make some noise"...