The changes I've faced over the past few years have led to me thinking about who I am online. HipMamaB was a bit of tongue and cheek name chosen 10 years ago when I was a young, new mom. Even just 10 years ago, the moment you popped out a baby people expected your coolness to vanish - and I was desperately trying to cling to my hip status.
These days that's really not the case. Moms are hot. 40 somethings are hot. Women of all ages are hip and cool. Now, proclaiming that I'm HipMamaB seems outdated... almost like I'm trying too hard.
When your babies are little you are nothing but "Mom." Everything is all about them all the time.. but as they grow and mature suddenly you have a little more time for yourself. Throw in a divorce and shared custody and suddenly I have a couple days a week where the kids are with their father and the only person I need to worry about feeding and getting to bed is myself. Mix in a full time job with people that don't know you as "Lucas and Zoe's Mom" and suddenly you realize that you are SO much more than what you have been.
Don't get me wrong. Being a mom is THE most important thing in my life, but after 10 years of it being my entire world, online and offline, it's nice that I've come to know "Beth" again. I'm still, and will always be, HipMamaB, but that's only part of what I've grown to be. This next part is what comes after the baby phase.. The single, working mom to growing kids phase. The phase that expands past surviving the procreation years, and into surviving tweens and teens. The phase where I concentrate on what makes me, and my kids, the happiest. The phase where I do everything I can to make dreams come true for the three of us.
That's this chapter.
Beth Estella... just BEing me...