Today I made it to the gym. Monumental occasion around here of late. I was on such a good roll.. oh well, today is the first day of the rest of my life... right?
The YMCA we go to is actually pretty nice and they have a very sweet infant room for the babies. I've been taking Zoe there for a few months, but usually we go in the afternoon when its mostly the older kids in the big kids room. Zoe is very social, and since her infancy has not once, that I've known of, cried when I have left her with someone else. She's pretty easy going and is totally cool just sitting there looking and "talking" to new people. She easily goes to anyone and gets excited to see her baby sitter Michelle. I plop Zoe down on the floor with another baby about her age and she immediately reaches for some books on the floor. I give her a kiss and head out the door without a second thought.
When I go back an hour later Zoe is sitting on the mat playing with another little girl and a baby doll... she doesn't even notice me walk in and she is happy and content. I pick her up, give her kisses and pretty much just out of habit nonchalantly say to the baby room woman "How was she? Was everything okay?"
She turned to me and said "She did cry for about 5-10 minutes when you left, but then she was fine.."
I was floored. 1st off REALLY?! My baby girl was sad that I left?! HOW DARE I LEAVE HER! HORRIBLE MOTHER GUILT FLASH FLOOD. Then I started thinking - why even tell me this? What good comes out of her telling me this other than I will TOTALLY use it as an excuse not to work out in the future? I can see her telling me if Zoe was inconsolable for 45 out of the 60 minutes.. I can see her noting to me if she fell over and bonked her head, but WHY tell a mother that your kid cried for 5 minutes?!
But then it got me thinking - how much does a parent want to know?
Lucas teachers always tell us the same thing. "Lucas was great today! Had a lot of fun playing.." I'm almost beginning to wonder if they lie to me about his behavior, because I know my son. He's over emotional and cries at the drop of a hat at home, so why wouldn't he at school? Don't get me wrong, he has had days that he teachers have had to pull me aside and let me know of something, but they are pretty few and far between. In fact, on further probing on "parent-teacher night" his teacher confided in me that Lucas is one of the best boys in the class! Huh? My kid? Same one I take home nightly?
The thing is that I know Lucas is far from perfect at school. I know he still cries and I know he gets upset, but I know the teachers deal with it, calm him down, and at the end of the day can't even remember his lego-spaceship induced fit. And I'm fine with that. Honestly, I don't WANT to really know - that's what I pay them for.
So what do you think? Do you want to know the absolute truth of your child's behavior when you are not around, or do you prefer just the glossy version?