Constant Self-Analyzation

I wonder if anyone analyzes themselves as much as I do? Some may say it's a good thing, other may say it's slightly egotistical. But I'm always looking for things and ways to make things better. Cooking, sleeping, new ways to make the most out of life and try to enjoy the times between changing poopy diapers.

Recently I've realized my love of the visual. I enjoy the beauty of the sky, the light as it hits the kid's cheek, the way a pie of rice crispy treats look sitting on a plate during a party. I also love parties. Not just "to party", but planning the party and the menu and the decorations that make people say "Oh!" I dream about being "that friend/wife/daughter/mother", even though I'm not sure what 'that' is, I'm not going to achieve it with running and try as I might, I can't decorate a cupcake that doesn't look like a 5 year old did it.

But i throw a mean party - with matching table cloths - and I love to document the small things in life.

My mom has always warned me about fast the years go. Something you never truly understand until you have kids in your life and you turn around and reconnect with an old friend on Facebook who comments "I see you have a new little one since the last time I saw you!" and you think "What, wasn't that like 4 months ago?" and you realize that it was before you were EVEN pregnant and now you have a 14 month old. When Zoe and Lucas are adults, I want to be able to show them the turkey from Thanksgiving when they were 1, or the soccer ball they made their first goal with (in the wrong goal..but hey, don't all kids do that?). I mean, who knows? When Zoe is in her 30's maybe we will finally consume all food in pill form and a turkey will be a relic!

Sick of listening to me bitch about our measly 5mp SLR-HYBRID, and because we were in competition to out-do each other for most memorable gift, for Xmas Jason bought me a Nikon D-60. SQUEEEEE! Now, in addition to sharp photos and super zoom, I can maybe figure out how to make the background all blurry while the subject of the photo is in focus! I'm in love.. I take it everywhere, and I love playing with it. Just snapping pictures of things to see how they are going to come out.

So, since I have this blog, just sitting here, unloved and suffering from lack of attention, and i have like 4 people that even "missed" it, and because my mom hasn't even looked at the last set I sent her (the horror! They are your GRANDCHILDREN woman!) I have decided that I am going to make you look at my pictures all the time.

I'm not a professional. Hell, I'm not even an amateur. I may have a certain eye, I may not. But I do find pleasure in taking photos that make me smile.